Don't Always Get What I Want

I want so many things, I know it's insane and selfish, but I don't care. I'm just, I'm feeling hopeless.

Maybe I'm a duck.
I was watching Chuck and Sarah says that Chuck's a duck. He seems to be gliding along and moving very slowly but his little feet are kicking away.

But I AM trying and I just feel defeated. I mean, I am by no means going to stop doing what I'm doing. I'm always going to strive and try as best as I could, but everything is stagnant right now, it's upsetting.

I want my dad's books Escape 2 Earth, Return 2 Earth and Earth 2 to get picked up by a publisher. I want it to become successful, he'll be 60 soon and he and and my mom have worked hard their entire lives. It isn't fair.

I want to find my niche in something! Something I'm passionate about versus something I'm good at. We all get up and go to work everyday and it's tiring. And I know we aren't the only ones trying or deserving but I wish we knew the way.

I want to be independent and succesful. I'm willing to do the work, but right now I'm simply stuck. And being stuck feels like I'm trapped.

I feel like I've been lied to. I was told if you worked hard and did what you were told good things would happen to you and I feel like that whole thing was pumped up far more than what it actually is. Sure, nothing bad has happend to me but nothing exceptional has happend to me either.

How do you stand out and become special?

New Writers

It's unfair that they get to write for a cool show, but I also think it's unfair to only complain about the bad episodes and soley blame it on the writers.

The main complaint I have about Yellow Fever is how Dean was used too often as the butt of jokes. Okay, we get it he's scared of stuff! I think Andrew Dabb and Daniel Loflin could redeem themselves. I just don't want them using trial and error methods with my favorite show. They're on probation right now.

But bravo goes to Julie Seige for writing It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester. I really liked this episode and the mixture of urban legend (which I SO missed) and mytharch was seamless and I LOVED it. Yes! Excellent job.

I wish I could write an episode for Supernatural. Is it as fun as I think it is? I hope so.