It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester!

This is it! These are the episodes that make me LOVE Supernatural. I LOVE this episode.
::sweetly:: And I will tell you why. heehee

This episode had it all:
-Urban Legend opener, loves it!
-Sam and Dean angst
-Sam and Dean fighting evil

I feel the undercurrent of season one and I love season one.

So here's the other thing, I love Sam. See:
And I felt so bad for him when Castiel just made him feel bad, evil, insignificant all at the same time. Sam's not used to that, if you notice the angels were really interested in talking to Dean.
Sam's used to being head honcho and all and now he's second fiddle to Dean, again.

Back to Castiel. he was just like, oh, so you're the guy with the demon blood. Like that's all he is to them. And you can see how Sam felt so small, good job Jared. I wanted to crawl underneath the bed for him. He just based him right there.

But I think that after meeting Sam and seeing what he's about. This is why he's now questioning his orders. Sam isn't evil, but he's got something evil inside of him, what to do? what to do? You heard Ruby they smite first and ask questions later. But now he's got a chance to see Sam before he has to smite, what will he do?

I love the portrayal of the angels. I like how the actors are very into it. They make sure to make the viewer aware that they aren't human, the way they walk and move around as if they were new to their bodies. I like that, it makes it more real.

There's still this undercurrent from season 2, also known as "What did John say to Dean?" season! And know we have two secrets to contend with "What was Dean doing in hell?" and "What was Sam doing while Dean was in hell?" Neither one pleases me.

A lot of people have theories that Dean did some torturing in hell so that he would be spared of being tortured himself and that, that's realistically (if the situation were real) possible. I mean you're in hell, getting your ass kicked in ways you couldn't even imagine and suddenly you get offered a reprieve? Well, no matter what the form of the reprieve is in, you're going to take it cuz your in hell. And I mean I know what the out is, because those guys were evil and they deserved hell, but does everyone who goes to hell really deserve hell? We really don't know where the line is drawn, maybe there were some people down there who could've almost made it to heaven. People like Dean or John. Can you imagine, being at your lowest of your lowest point so low you'd torture someone else to save yourself. That bothers me.

Another thing that bothers me is Sam getting it on with a demon. Oh my God, I can't even. I can't. I think I've discussed this earlier so I won't go into it again, but the hell Sam?! Oh no. I'm supposed to be doing my homework and editing this story.

How do you exist to your fullest potential?

How do you exist to your fullest potential?

How do you do that? I know of things that’ll make a difference in other people’s lives: volunteering at organizations that help those less fortunate than you are, but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is…how do you find something that you like to do and not only do you like to do it – are you able to excel at it?

For instance I like to write. But I don’t know how good of a writer I am. Writing is subjective, like any other form of art. One person may love it another may think it’s not worth wiping their behind with it. And that’s the selfish side of this thought the other side is – is what you’ve chosen to do important? Who wants to do something frivolous for the rest of their life? So here’s the criteria:

Something that you like to do
Something that you’re good at
Something that’s meaningful and important to humankind

And then there’s the bummer part of this whole thing – life is hard. You still need to be able to take care of yourself. So is this chosen path in your life something substantial enough to keep you going through life? Or will you have to take the road often traveled and take on a job you hate because you didn’t know how to get to where you want to be?

You think you’re doing everything right. And that all you need to do is be patient and that good things will come to you. But there’s the hanging fear that suffocating fear that creeps up while you’re at work or while you’re ready to go to bed that nags at you. You start to wonder what if good things don’t come to you? What if you’ve been wasting your time and all of your hard work actually means nothing at all? What then? Whose fault is it? Is it because you didn’t try hard enough? Is it because you’ve befriended and listened to the wrong people? Because in the end it’s ultimately your fault and there’s no one person or web site that can tell you exactly what to do.

No one knows. There is no set pattern. There is no set formula. There are thousands of accomplished people who all became accomplished through the people they meet and the circumstances that’s come to them. I don’t believe in luck, but listening to some of these stories it’s almost impossible not to.

Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 22? I look on at people who have more accomplishments at my age than I do and I’m happy for them, but at the same time, I want to be able to stand as tall as they do. I feel like I’m wasting time, but I don’t know what I should be doing.
I get all kinds of advice from people I don’t want to be anything like. And I know that sounds bad, but these people admit to hating their lives and wishing for more. And to me that’s not an ideal candidate for someone I want to get advice from.

It’s just lately I’m feeling like I have to settle and find ways to cheer myself up. I’ll think about things that I want and I’m in nowhere near a position to get it and then I have to say things like “At least your healthy.” “At least you have your own car.” And I find myself going down this list of the minimal in my life. And then I wonder, where is this going? Where will I be in 5 – 10 years? When I was 15, I thought things would be far more further than they are now. I’d say I have about a quarter of what I thought I would have now. But that’s better than nothing (see I’ve done it again).

The landscape of my life has changed so much of the past years and I look on to some of the other people in my life and they’re so bitter and angry. And I want to be neither of those things. I want to work, I can try hard, I can do things and I feel like I’m muddling through and wavering. I’ve been grasping at every opportunity that I can to make myself a better person and to help my family in any endeavors they wish to take on, but nothing has really punched through. Things get better and then they get bad and we’re just hanging on throughout the entire ride.

I’m used to plans. I’m used to being told to do things and then doing it the best as I could. Not this…not this way of life, not following plans and then getting nothing of what you wanted or a little of what you wanted. I’m getting so tired. I graduate in December and I have no idea of where I’ll be.

Everyone always asks me what do you want to do, and I want to write. But is someone really going to hand a recent college grad anything they ask for?
I’ve been having st

Where Supernatural Fans and I part ways

I don't understand just what the big deal was. It seems as if there was some uproar about Sam calling Dean a dick in the last episode "Yellow Fever" and Sam's always been a jerk like that to Dean and vice versa. I've just chalked it up to you know a regular brotherly coversation. But it seems that fans made such a big deal about it that even Eric had to call up tv guide (or his blog) as I sometimes call it. I wish tv guide was my blog. And issue a response to the people who didn't get it.

Talk about being sensitive.

And I didn't think that Route 666 was as bad as everyone said it was. I think the complaints over weight how bad the ep actually was. I mean, I think Route 666 gets more complaints than Bugs. It just really seems as if Supernatural fans just behave as if Bugs never existed and never aired.

It's rainy here. So bummbed out.

Writing

Hollywood is always looking for new writers right? Pick me! I need a job ASAP.

I do think I write an episode of Chuck or something or write for my own show.

Ah, I'll stick to re-writing my novel. And start my next one. I want them to come out at the same time.

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I've tried not to get into this whole thing with Sara Palin, but really Sarah? A Louis Vuitton for a 7 year old! Can she even spell it? I mean, what does a 7 year old need with a purse anyway. I didn't get one until I was a little older for "special reasons". It's way past ridiculous.

And lets not forget about the girl who got attacked in PA said a black man did it and scratched the letter b into her face. Why the f*ck would anyone ever do that, ever?

stupid people

Supernatural Season 4: 6 Episodes In Thoughts

Alright, I don't know where to start, we're 6 episodes in this season and I'm loving it so far. But you know how that one kid does consistently well, better than all the other students and then all of a sudden starts doing the same level of work as the other kids? I'm the teacher who expects more because that's what we've been getting no matter what kinds of problems you're having a home.

I love that they've FINALLY fixed the filter. It's appropriately light when it's supposed to be and appropriately dark and scary when it's supposed to.

Let's start from the beginning.

Lazarus Rising
LOVE IT! Okay? Love it. Dean comes back, bam! Business as usual.

Not loving a demon possessed girl running around Sam's hotel room in her undies.


Are You There God It's Me, Dean Winchester
Kripke if you ever make an ep title this long again. I'll harm you. But another great episode. Brought back some old faves, I was expecting to see Jess and some others but that would've been a too way perfect episode.

Not really liking Meg call Sam a monster for what he's "doing" with Ruby. Gave me creepy creepy chills.

In the Beginning
So Mary's a hunter. Sounds familiar. Sounds like something I've been telling everyone since the SECOND SEASON FINALE! I knew it! Well, I didn't know it, but it's awesome. And she's sweet and she kicks ass and there were moments like "Okay, mister stop it." Hilarious. And Dean tearing up while talking to him mom. Love it!

Metamorphosis
It was a good episode. Nice to see a monster of the week episode. It was gross. But is it just me or is it that the guys are starting to suck? Season one and two they were on their ps and qs and now...it just seems like they seem to need help a lot or get people killed.

Not loving the demon saying "what you two do in the dark" please let that mean demon code for patty cake or something that's not sexual. I can't handle my darling sammy doing the nasty with a demon. I just....Sam!

Monster Movie
Why? I mean it was funny and I know about the reason behind the black and white but no more episodes like that this season. You only get one.

Yellow Fever
What did I just say? Alright fine, although it it hilarious to watch Jensen Ackles run away from an adorable puppy. The whole Dean's afraid thing went on for far too long in the episode, we got it. But it was hilarious to hear things such as "that green bitch was totally out to get him" hee hee. Dean screaming like a girl at that was...it wasn't that funny.

But I am noticing how Sam's growing, he's taken on more command and responsibility - not just in this episode. Sam, Sam now has swagger. I don't know if it's just Jared or a deliberate writing move. But you know, Sam is becoming more like Dean, well the way Dean was. It seems as if they've almost, almost switched roles.

Dean used to be the black and white guy while Sam wanted to think and overlook everything and now Sam is like this is black and white but he seems to be wrong in his thinking. I mean he wanted to kill a virgin last year so...Things are changing.

All in all. I love Jared and I love Jensen and I hope they love doing Supernatural or else I would feel horrible for gaining pleasure from their misery. But judging by the "Eye of the Tiger" extra clip we got yesterday I'm guessing that they're having FAR too much fun which is cool with me. I hope we get more things like that.

Adorkable. I mean who starts singing Eye of the Tiger like that? Dorks. A cute dork nonetheless.

I'm not looking forward to this next episode, It's Halloween, Sam Winchester. Whenever an episode is done when they bring back EVERYTHING they've ever faced, we always see like a couple of bad guys we've seen before. Don't say EVERYTHING because when you say that people are going to look for the things that didn't show up.

When did Bobby have the time to learn Japanese? It's getting to be a bit much on that too. Spanish maybe. That way we can go into how he used to hunt in Mexico or something. But Japanese? Unless that used to be apart of Bobby's job and he's actually rich and he quit his rich job to hunt full time? Huh? Okay, I can buy it now.

A Post About ME!

I'm going to talk about me for awhile now, if you'd be so inclined to care. If not, it's fine. I'll cry myself to sleep later about it.

I suppose I'll start with the things that I'm always doing:
Work
Helping My Dad with his novel: Escape 2 Earth
School (this is my last year: two months to go)

And they've all been pretty hard to deal with. But I'll start with school and work. I'm a part-time receptionist at an assisted living facility who wants to work in tv, film or I'll even take radio. So I don't know how to get started into something like that or when to start applying.

I may have to leave this big city to get a good job, there's too much competition and it's all about who you know.

The same with my dad's book. I've been searching and contacting people to get him signed on for conventions and book fairs, but book fair's cost money to get a table at and scifi conventions are few and over here in the east coast so...I don't know what I'm going to do about that.

I've sent out a query letter to Simon and Schuster to see if we could get my dad's second book, Return 2 Earth published there. And I've finished the extremely roughest draft you'd ever seen in your life to my own book called, Secrets of a Deltorian Princess: The Quest to Save Xanar. But like I said it's nowhere near finished and absolutely no one knows about it. And no one ever reads this blog to my knowledge so no one still knows about it.

So here's my checklist:
Find a new job in my field
Help my dad with his books
Finish my own book
Become independent in every way

easy...right?

Supernatural: Season 4 Castiello

I don't care how it's spelled, you know who I'm talking about. Besides, that's why we have closed caption and my cc, spells it Castiello. So, deal with it.

He's awesome.
Not as awesome as Bobby is, but he's cool.

I figured it out a split second before he said it, but that's what everyone says so I doubt if anyone would believe my second before it happens I KNEW IT! moment.

Castiello, um, scares me.
He tore Dean from hell! 100 points
It took him four months. down to 90 points
He's got work for Dean to do, from God! back to 100 points
He threatned to put Dean back in hell. NO! Down to 80 points
He took Dean back in time and he saw his parents back to 100 points
He took away Pam's sight 90 points
But she was flirting with Dean and I didn't like her groping him so back to 100 points

Oh Castiello, your steely demeanor is welcomed because it's different but you worry me about this whole end of the world business.

Supernatural: Season 4

I'm so pissed at SAM!

First Ruby's back, and I knew she would be, I knew they were setting things up for Sam and Ruby in season 3, but the writer's strike happend and it was all jacked up for a bit. So, now Ruby's back running around Sam's hotel room practically naked. okay. And I say okay in the skeptical tone like ooookay.

Then, BAM! Nikki (Meg) comes back as not Demon!Meg but regular human Meg. And she's still awesome, even as she's beating up Dean. And she calls Sam a monster and says "What you're doing with that demon." Alright fine! That could mean anything! So you mean him practicing his powers with Ruby right? Right?

NO! Says the demon in the start of Metamorphosis. "slutting around" are you kidding me SAM? For all intents and purposes that his not her body! Ruby is using some other girls body and forcing it to do things with Sam she doesn't want to do. That's rape. I'm not kidding. That's demon rape.

Unless things aren't as they seem but what else could "slutting around" mean? "The things you two do in the dark?" I'm having a heart problems over this. Using demon powers is one thing. Havind sex with a demon in another person's body is a WAY WAY other thing.

I'm flipping out. Whatever. Whatever, Eric, and Kim, and Sera and Kathryn whatever you guys suck and I can't wait until next Thursday!

I mean, Dean died so Sam could shack up with a demon. Ahhhh! Oh god. Give me a break.

Jared and Sandy; I'm so sad

I know this is old ass news like news from June and it's October! But I couldn't bring myself to really talk about this like I wanted to. I think they are SO cute. And I had it all mapped out in my mind (when I should've been working harder at Statistics) that there would be a wedding Jensen would be best man and ya know be the best Supernatural wedding ever.

And then they broke up. So my hope for them is to progress in any aspect of their lives. Hopefully people have been leaving them alone about their private lives. I don't read a lot of magazine articles unless it's months later because I want to avoid spoilers.

I hope there's no gossip, no sordid tales of he said she said, just let them be. It's not our business. I am rooting for them to get back together though, because....well LOOK at that picture. C'mon.

And oh yea, don't think I forgot about you Jensen. I SO know you have a girlfriend. You have to. Don't give us that I'm an actor and therefore too busy to get a girl.

You're hiding her from us and that's fair...because people are crazy.

I wouldn't be suprised if there was a headline a couple of years from now saying Jensen and his wife...got secretly married a few years back and no one knew!

That's fine Jensen, you don't have to tell us.

LOL. Honestly, I really don't care. People get things all confused and the whole whisper down the lane thing gets old. They're names thrown around and the stories never make any sense in the end and it's all far from the truth.

Tell you a story, my friends were hanging out and for a second one of the guys grabbed the ankle of a girl for like five seconds, ya know playing around. By the time we heard the thing he was interested in her and trying to get with her. And what made it funny was that his girlfriend was there and saw the whole thing and it wasn't even a deal. Someone saw it happen and made a mountain out of a molehill, a very tiny molehill.

If I Ever Met Jared or Jensen, or oh gosh both

I'd probably faint. LOL!

No. I don't know what I'd do. Uusally when I meet celebrities (the all 3 of them, ha yea) I'm usually too caught off guard to be starstruck. So I end up acting normal anyway, just like I want to be.

I don't want to have a chance to overthink how I should act or what I should say. I want to be normal. Well, as normal as I could get. I don't want them to freak out. I think actors are like deers in the forest. If you seem overexcited to be around them or are disingenius with them you'll scare them away.

Mostly because you've made them feel uncomfortable. I don't want to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable! I want people to feel happy or at peace around me, not stressed.

FedCon was awesome despite the bad planning and then eventual shutting down. But I did get to meet John Billingsley and his wife Bonita Friedericy. The KINDEST people I have ever met in my short life. I'm 22. The first day of meeting them, they wanted to adopt me! LOL! I was like I'm 22. They were like that's the PERFECT age to adopt someone, you're almost finished college no upbringing to do. Hilarious.

I don't know what'd I'd do if I met Jared or Jensen. I hope I'm normal, haha. I do think they're good actors. I really do. Hopefully I'll be a succesful writer and we can all get together and be like Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. Because doesn't it seem like Johnny Depp is in ALL of Tim Burton's movies? Yea, I want Jared and Jensen to be in ALL of my movies.

Sounds good, right guys?

Largo, Maryland

Largo, Maryland is a hidden paradise. I love going to the Capital Bookfest in October. My family and I have been going for three years to promote my father's book and every year I'm shocked. I'm shocked at how inviting and kind the people of this city are.

The adults are courteous and kind when you smile they smile back. And God bless the children they've raised who are mannerly and respectful.

Only in Largo would I be able to not only see in person but meet Nikki Giovanni. I hope the citizens of Largo realize what kind of treasue they have in their citizens and work hard to perserve that, because it's rare.

Everyone was welcoming and sweet, even the people who didn't buy my dad's book. If you don't like sci-fi that's fine, but they were still very nice.

My Weekend Oct 4 and 5

Well, my family took your annual trip the the Capital Bookfest in Largo Maryland! It went terrificly. Terrificly? That's not a word. But that's how well it went, I've even invented a new word.

I nearly knocked over one of the greatest African American activists in history. Ms. Nikki Giovanni was there and my father had written a piece on the current state of African Americans in today's society, called Legacy Lost and she's mentioned it in. So, I didn't think it wouldn't hurt for her to have a copy.

I rushed over, me and one other lady I don't know what she wanted but EVERYONE was watching me run like a crazy woman over to her and she stopped so suddenly (I was behind her) I nearly knocked her over! Oh my God! I'm laughing about it now, but I would've been so embarrased if I had actually knocked her over and worse hurt her. So, there's extra proof that God is looking out for me all of the time.

I cut the other lady off, I apologized for doing so, gave her my dad's piece and left.

She was nice.