How do you exist to your fullest potential?
How do you do that? I know of things that’ll make a difference in other people’s lives: volunteering at organizations that help those less fortunate than you are, but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is…how do you find something that you like to do and not only do you like to do it – are you able to excel at it?
For instance I like to write. But I don’t know how good of a writer I am. Writing is subjective, like any other form of art. One person may love it another may think it’s not worth wiping their behind with it. And that’s the selfish side of this thought the other side is – is what you’ve chosen to do important? Who wants to do something frivolous for the rest of their life? So here’s the criteria:
Something that you like to do
Something that you’re good at
Something that’s meaningful and important to humankind
And then there’s the bummer part of this whole thing – life is hard. You still need to be able to take care of yourself. So is this chosen path in your life something substantial enough to keep you going through life? Or will you have to take the road often traveled and take on a job you hate because you didn’t know how to get to where you want to be?
You think you’re doing everything right. And that all you need to do is be patient and that good things will come to you. But there’s the hanging fear that suffocating fear that creeps up while you’re at work or while you’re ready to go to bed that nags at you. You start to wonder what if good things don’t come to you? What if you’ve been wasting your time and all of your hard work actually means nothing at all? What then? Whose fault is it? Is it because you didn’t try hard enough? Is it because you’ve befriended and listened to the wrong people? Because in the end it’s ultimately your fault and there’s no one person or web site that can tell you exactly what to do.
No one knows. There is no set pattern. There is no set formula. There are thousands of accomplished people who all became accomplished through the people they meet and the circumstances that’s come to them. I don’t believe in luck, but listening to some of these stories it’s almost impossible not to.
Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 22? I look on at people who have more accomplishments at my age than I do and I’m happy for them, but at the same time, I want to be able to stand as tall as they do. I feel like I’m wasting time, but I don’t know what I should be doing.
I get all kinds of advice from people I don’t want to be anything like. And I know that sounds bad, but these people admit to hating their lives and wishing for more. And to me that’s not an ideal candidate for someone I want to get advice from.
It’s just lately I’m feeling like I have to settle and find ways to cheer myself up. I’ll think about things that I want and I’m in nowhere near a position to get it and then I have to say things like “At least your healthy.” “At least you have your own car.” And I find myself going down this list of the minimal in my life. And then I wonder, where is this going? Where will I be in 5 – 10 years? When I was 15, I thought things would be far more further than they are now. I’d say I have about a quarter of what I thought I would have now. But that’s better than nothing (see I’ve done it again).
The landscape of my life has changed so much of the past years and I look on to some of the other people in my life and they’re so bitter and angry. And I want to be neither of those things. I want to work, I can try hard, I can do things and I feel like I’m muddling through and wavering. I’ve been grasping at every opportunity that I can to make myself a better person and to help my family in any endeavors they wish to take on, but nothing has really punched through. Things get better and then they get bad and we’re just hanging on throughout the entire ride.
I’m used to plans. I’m used to being told to do things and then doing it the best as I could. Not this…not this way of life, not following plans and then getting nothing of what you wanted or a little of what you wanted. I’m getting so tired. I graduate in December and I have no idea of where I’ll be.
Everyone always asks me what do you want to do, and I want to write. But is someone really going to hand a recent college grad anything they ask for?
I’ve been having st